Plodding
Why do young Christian men and women disconnect from church involvement and attendance?
I ask this question often as a pastor of a church that is situated in “middle/upper class” suburbia. There are thousands of young professionals and their families who live in our neighbourhood and probably hundreds who claim to be followers of Jesus. Many of them would tell you straight to your face that “I have made a committment to trust Jesus with my life” but when looking at their weekly routines you know that church attendance is non-existent. I have many friends who I met in Bible school who rarely grace the doors of a church.
Why is this a trend in our society? It’s either a problem with the church or a problem with individuals?
Check out this article a friend of mine sent me this week. I think his thoughts are dead on regarding our faith and our church involvement.
May 5, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I like some of the sentiments here, but really struggle with others. I think that yes, people have to be far more willing to be a non-famous Christian. We aren’t all called to be world renowned and frankly shouldn’t even hope to be as an end in itself. We need more people who are willing to be faithful to living for God regardless of recognition or being “revolutionary” as he puts it.
The big problem I have with what the author has to say is that I think he makes the mistake that many do in associating the institutional church as we have it directly with “the church” as spoken about it scripture. In many ways I think the institutional church as it stands bears only a slight resemblance with the church of the bible. When people leave the institutional church they may not actually be leaving “the church” at all. They may actually be looking for something that looks a lot more like the church of the bible and not finding it in evangelicalism for the most part. Vainly plodding on in a broken system isn’t going to make anything better and certainly won’t help make better followers of Jesus if that really is the state we’re in.
I completely agree that individualistic Christianity that seeks to be a follower of Jesus apart from the church is flawed. We need accountability and community to live out the gospel and be followers of Jesus, but I think we need to be very careful in automatically assuming that the institutional church as it stands is even the best place to find those things as it currently stands. I think it can be, but I don’t think the majority of our institutional churches are in a place to offer either true accountability of community as they currently stand and that’s why people are looking elsewhere and often still not finding it.
I don’t think it’s right to try to be a follower of Jesus apart from the church, but I can see how people can easily wind up there.
May 5, 2010 at 4:29 pm
I agree Ben that the institutional church is very flawed and lacks fairly simple biblical principles. We’ve made it into something that it’s not – a well oiled organization. Many churches are trying to change yet unfortunately too many aren’t.
My struggle is that younger Christians “claim” to be leaving the institution of church yet doing nothing about it. They are saying they don’t like what it stands for and don’t agree with it’s philosophies yet they are not looking to improve upon the circumstances they find themselves in and would rather create an existence they are more comfortable with. This existence = an individual faith without fellowship, breaking of bread and teaching (just to name a few).
I completely agree with you but unfortunately the men and women leaving are not improving the faith community by their efforts – they are only missing out. They also aren’t finding what they are looking for because they are not willing to sacrifice anything for it. Consumerism at it’s best.
May 5, 2010 at 4:37 pm
And I agree with you Brad. My generation, as well as most is full of hypocrisy. We say we want community and true Christianity so we leave the church and then stay home to sleep in and watch football on Sunday morning not seeking out Christian community in any way. To just leave the church and not do anything about trying to make things better is more harmful than helpful.
My concern is that convincing people to just stay around and plod without giving them the hope of working towards real “church” and then heaping some guilt on them as being the problem (this is what I seemed to read in the article) isn’t helpful either. If our churches aren’t going to change I can’t blame a generation for leaving looking for something better. Along those lines though if the people who are leaving aren’t actually looking or trying to make things better I can’t completely blame the church for not getting better.
May 5, 2010 at 5:17 pm
i have to whole heartedly agree with the previous commenter… i have found that as much as i love Jesus… church is hard.
The sentiments expressed rather gracelessly in that article seemed to say, “Down, dog”.
Maybe there are more people than you realize that leave – or don’t attend – because anytime we ask a question it’s answered with, “Don’t think about it too hard, just do what everyone else is doing…”
& we’re expected to believe that’s good enough.
i’m not saying this about *you* brad. But i have found most discussions & bible studies to leave off just before it affects how we live.
i don’t wanna be a rock star…
i just wanna love God.
May 5, 2010 at 6:02 pm
I was just gonna say something very similar to paige. And I also think that just because people attend church doesn’t mean that they are loving Jesus or trying to follow Him. There are a lot of ‘fake’ or ‘sunday’ christians that attend every single week, yet don’t live it out in their daily lives. And as someone who *is* trying to live it out, it is disheartening to be around people who only pretend they are. Does that make any sense?
May 5, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Paige – I totally take offense
I think the writer’s main idea got a little bit off track when he was writing. His one point is about being a rock-star vs. ordinary and his other point is seeing God in the mundane of life. (at least that’s my take)
We all get bored with *things and stop doing them because they are boring (ie. shows on T.V. that have had the same writers, same actors and yet get cancelled after a number of years). Church shouldn’t be boring but in reality it definately can be because it’s not about the show but the people. Like I said to ben – if we can get over our consumerstic idea of what church should look like we can ask those hard questions and be part of the solution rather than run off.
Lisa – There are WAY too many people who just sit and soak in church every week. DRIVES ME CRAZY. I feel like the teacher off of charlie brown sometimes wehn I speak “whawhaaawhahwaaaaaa”. The writer is saying (again, my take) is that God can work in the small serving opportunities God offers (VBS, greeters, visitation) yet younger believers overlook that and would rather become the CEO rather than the janitor. The plodding he refers to is serving and obeying God in the somewhat small things. Like one of my favorite bands sings “little is much if God’s in it”.
May 6, 2010 at 3:25 am
Speaking from someone who has left the church and isn’t too sure what to about it, I didn’t leave because I was not satisfied with ‘ordinary’ nor did I leave out of ‘boredom’ or not seeing God in mundane life.
I left because I tried desparately to make a difference at church and found it impossible to break through.
What did I want to change? The way church is divided by the ‘rights of passage’. These are fine as you proceed through Sunday school classes and into youth group but at some point these divisions no longer make sense.
Why does college and carreer include those who are single and 18 through to 40+? Why do we have the new marrieds small groups for all those married couples who don’t have kids – when you do have children why do you ‘graduate’ to the new families? Where do you go when you have been married for 10 years and can’t conceive?
My life is no longer segmented by a right of passage elsewhere so why is it segmented at church? What was once the exception (i.e. marrying at an older age) has become the norm and the traditional religious institution is struggling with this adjustment.
I don’t want to be famous. But I do want to be recognized as me – 34 single and loving God. I want relationships with others not a car rally for a Friday night of fun. I want to be real.
May 6, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Thanks for sharing “j”. I can see how frustrating it can be with the segments within church settings, especially being single.
I appreciate your honesty and candidness as it’s given me something to think about.
May 6, 2010 at 2:47 pm
i guess the problem with saying that once you get over the consumeristic idea of what church should be – then we can get to the questions, is that we’re not likely ever to get to the questions. Even though there are a lot of people leaving, or staying away – there are even more, just barely hanging on… hoping that at some point things will change… i love how in the last few messages, you’ve brought up theological issues that so many Christians struggle with… & even though they’re sort of peripheral to your sermon, at least they’re being acknowledged. (& i totally admit – that with little one i’m missing more than i’m hearing!)
May 6, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I don’t know if you’ve ever read Brian McLaren’s “A Generous Orthodoxy” before or not Brad, but I think chapters 4-5 may have some of the answers to the questions you’re asking here about why people become consumeristic and leave the church.
It’s been a long time (at least 5) since I had time to ready anything, but reading these chapters today it spoke right to what we’ve been talking about here and gave me some direction and peace.
May 7, 2010 at 6:18 pm
It’s been hard trying to wait till now to get in on this conversation as this post has been on my mind the last few days. Between balancing a “steady job” and the health concerns of life in a wheelchair I’ve been slow to find the time to write. I hope I’m not jumping in too late!
Just what do we mean here Brad by “leaving the church?” I mean are we talking about a specific event, building, and organization; or do we mean a community of people doing life together? It seems important to identify this because much of the unspoken realities in “service representation” that are mentioned in the linked article and conversation seem to pertain to a singular weekly event (VBS, greeting, Singing/choir, ect.).
If you ask me, “ecclesia” seems to be far more richer when understood as more closly connected to daily discipleship then being a matter of weekly attendance. After all, the kingdom of God is near (Luke 10:9b) whenever I enter any “door way” with a heart of adoration, a mind of focused learned attention, and a spirit of unrestrained joy! I am first and formost a FOLLOWER of Jesus in any and all contexts; in which I ENCOUNTER, EXPERIENCE, and REFLECT the church as a community of grace and unconditional acceptance.
Is everyone a “Rock Star” and Bono mentality? I hope not! But, what is the church doing to equip, develop, support, and build the leadership which might find itself on the fringes of so called stated “class” – white, middle class, married, and with two and a half children. Is Christian discipleship and expression solely based free of creative ingenuity to the marginalized and “un-classed”? If it is anything I think Jesus stood up for it was that HIS church would not be based upon demographics but upon personal confession! (Matt. 16:15-17)
I’ve read Kevin Deyoung’s book ‘Why We Love the Church’ and it has caused me to think deeply about my missional roots but I am bothered by his undertone to “Christian, but more spiritual than religious and more into social justice than the church.” What is the church meant for if not to be born in spirituality (John 3:1-15) and deeply involved in community transformation and social justice (Matt. 5:1-13; Luke 4:18-19)? Is there meant to be a separation between church and para-church? I think not.
Ben, I think you are right in identifying this sense that our generation has sometimes abandoned our sense of “community” for consumerism in self gratification. It is important to plod towards a vision of discipleship and accountability. It is equally important that this accountability however hold more balance between daily active missional impulses, worshipful learnedness, and an attentiveness to graceful evangelism.
Are there meaningful “rights of passage” J? I think there are! Of course we need to guard against them being ideological and institutional but as I’ve learned from Deyoung before; there is merit in Baptism, the breaking of bread in Communion, and Spiritual Disciplines.
For some time now Brad as you know I have found myself on the fringes of church (organizational) acceptance. I often wonder has the church itself become lost in a state of complacent consumerist expectation. Does this demand revolutionary mentality? I do not know but, in the words of Martin Luther King I’ve been hearing a lot lately… “I have a dream today!” Maybe the church itself should spend some time dreaming too.
I suppose that’s all I have to say for now. What do you guy’s think?
May 8, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Erik, I think your last paragraph is dead on. Wish I had more time to post but just wanted to say that.
May 11, 2010 at 10:00 pm
Hey Brad
– my sister goes to your church and told me to check out your blog – what a relief to hear a “guy in charge” even noticing that there’s a problem…
we did quit church, twice – in both cases, we have little children and we did “church” at home – including communion, prayer, Bible reading, we taught the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostle’s Creed, and worked through J.I. Packer’s book “I want To be A Christian”. Honestly, it was kind of lonely. But no more lonely than sitting in a church, being quiet and going home, and knowing that no one there wants any more than that.
j – loved your heart as a single. if you went to my church, i wish you’d come sit next to me and let a little person sit beside you. Littles are so much better behaved when they have someone special to please. Single or not, church should be about being family – and you are. And as a mom with a lot of little people, i have had it with nursery (my husband does it if we need it) – we don’t do Sunday School – we are thinking that if it’s good for us, it’s probably good for them, and we enjoy discussing what went on with our children as it opens up a lot of natural ways to share our faith with our little people during the week that the age segregated approach cuts off…